About me; Chapter 2

I married the man who wrote those papers for me. It was a marriage that should never have been. One year into the marriage I knew that I was miserable. He wasn’t a bad man mind you, he just wasn’t the man for me. Being catholic we didn’t divorce, instead trying to work it out. It’s so bizarre the things your mind does to you when you are faced with situations you’re unfamiliar with.

I was a plus sized model at the time for a well known magazine. They wanted a size 18 and I was happy to do it, being happy with myself. Additionally, I was very popular with the young adult crowd. Late teens to mid 20’s, I had no problem talking to people and making them feel warm. I remember people would just pull up chairs and talk to me. It was nice, and yet sometimes hard too as my husband was sitting right there being ignored. I was so paranoid about being tempted to cheat (despite NEVER having cheated on anyone EVER before) and I was so miserable that in my depression I could only think of one thing to do to make sure I never cheated.

I became invisible.

I began to eat. Pretty soon people stopped looking, and as I began to withdraw from everyone including the husband who now had no interest in me, I just stopped talking or reaching out too.

Then came the shocker.